Fish & Dragons

Sorry, the missus has just waved her fingernails under my nose, having just painted them with a range of volatile compounds, and I now find myself ducking to avoid the salmon leaping across the sofa and the dragons which are picking them off in mid air, in a style not unreminiscent of a cross between a eagle and a grizzly bear. But with scales and flames.

Actually, it’s good that she did (although perhaps not for you) as the depression of my disappointing attempted and aborted trip to Oslo is still responsible for the metaphorical grey cloud which hangs over me and I wasn’t even going to bother blogging this evening. Now I need to tell you about the dragons. I know there are always post-holiday blues post a holiday, but they can usually be tempered with the wonderful memories of the break. Not so in this case (sorry Mum, yes it was nice to see you but you know what I mean).

While Sheffield and most of the rest of the UK remains under wintery skies and freezing temperatures, here in Cape Town we have been enjoying (and I put the the word “enjoying” in inverted commas) (I know I didn’t actually do that, but I was thinking it) the 35°C temperatures thrown at us by Mrs Nature (Snr). I find the best way to deal with these conditions is to don a mask, gloves and a large super thick lab coat and play with infected sputum all day. With a promise of equally (if not more) unpleasant conditions tomorrow, I might take some of my wife’s nail polish to work to make the day pass more quickly entertainingly.

In other news, I discovered the fact that I had a new skill this evening. That skill is mending televisions.
I would usually never attempt to mend a television, but while we were round at the mother-in-law’s, my son decided to knock her TV off its stand and onto the floor – killing it instantly (the TV, the floor was already dead, you idiot) – and I don’t have the money to buy her a new TV set.
So, having opened it up and found nothing obviously broken within, I brought it home, poked at it a bit and then gave up. Imagine my surprise when it suddenly started working again. Obviously the bringing it home and poking it had some effect.
To be fair, I should have known that this experimental poking would work: after all, experimental poking has worked before with equally surprising results, one of which was responsible for the TV being broken in the first place.

And now, back to the imaginary flying reptiles…

One thought on “Fish & Dragons

  1. Hmmm I think I am hoping to wake up from a dream or that I’ve accidently caught whiff of something similar to the volatile concoction on your missus’ finger nails. What the hell is going off at my club :(~

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