Drop the Bass

I’m obviously too old to go out clubbing these days. Hey, I was never even hardcore enough to beat up a cleaner in a car park or urinate on a taxi driver from a balcony, so maybe I wouldn’t have fitted in to the local scene anyway. However, I’ve been doing some rudimentary research and it seems that I’m actually still allowed to enjoy the music and be aware of the currently popular genres.

Thus, I was very amused by a recent spoof article, which uses zeitgeist language and convention to poke fun at those who use social media and the internet to demonstrate their over-sensitivity.

I feel like it is not my body anymore.
They can never say or do anything to make this up to me.
She was still distressed the following day and was allowed to go home early from her job.

That wasn’t the spoof article, by the way. That’s a real story (albeit in the Daily Mail).
Be upset? Fine.
Be annoyed? Absolutely.
Get in touch with all the national newspapers over a simple mistake? Get a grip, luv.

But anyway, back to the dancefloor – and this:

A local clubber who was left “embarrassed and ostracized” when he threw his hands up too early during an extended trance drop has decided to sue the club for emotional distress. Johnathan Entwhistle is taking legal action against the nightclub, which cannot be named for legal reasons.

It’s funny, because it rings so very true.

Fellow clubbers reported on the initial premature fist pump claiming, “We were so embarrassed for him. He looked so smug and “in the know” when he fist pumped. But when the beat didn’t kick in he just looked like a bemused, out of place, fool,” recounted one clubber. “He’s a good looking guy but after seeing that I find the notion of sex with him laughably unlikely, and I have very low standards.”

Very clever. But, as “Mr Entwhistle’s lawyers” point out, society now forbids us to go against convention, as the DJ on that fateful night chose to do:

“We’ll take this all the way to Native Instruments if we have to. You can’t just go against years of tradition and expect to get away with it. This isn’t just some tradition you can throw away as useless like Catholicism, or monogamy.”

Eina. But if there was ever a career where convention overrules all other considerations, it’s surely club DJ’ing. People love the music and the culture for its repetitiveness, its familiarity and its reliability:

Very good. “Davincii”? Hmm. I wonder who they’re poking fun at there.

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