Double Vision

We’re heading back to the Tips page of Popular Mechanics for this one. It won Top Tip for July 2013.

Double Vision

As time moves on and we get older, some of us are faced with the loss of our close detail sight. Fading eyesight is usually addressed by purchasing reading glasses from a chemist (I have pairs of these dotted all over the house and garage). However, sometimes the magnification of these glasses is just not enough for close-up work.

My simple solution: acquire a second pair of reading glasses (perhaps from your wife), place one pair over the other and hey, presto! You may look like a character from Revenge of the Nerds, but it really works!

Ian Ruinaard

Why has no-one else thought of this?

Ian has obviously got a keen mind. Perhaps, in these winter months, he noted that in order to be warm, he could put one jumper on, but in order to be warmer, a second jumper, place over the top of the first, was required. Or, potentially, he had to get something down from a particularly high shelf and became aware that while standing on one box got him closer to being able to reach said object, it took another box, place on top of the first, to make it possible for him to actually get to the shelf.

These may seem like simple observations, because they are, but let’s face it, none of us took these observations and applied them to optics and the correction of age-specific deterioration in vision, now did we?

Ian did. He did that.

And then he wrote to Popular Mechanics about it.

What Ian did then, though, is deeply puzzling. He stopped. He halted in his extrapolation of this great idea. Why he chose to do this is unclear, because surely for a great mind like that of Ian Ruinaard, merely sating himself with having the vision to complete close-up work would not be enough. Surely an exploratory continuation into this 1+1=2 phenomenon could have yielded further amazing results?

Ian stopped. But that didn’t mean that I had to.

Right. So. What if we took Ian’s 1+1=2 idea and made it 1+1+1=3?

Three pairs of chemist-bought reading glasses, perhaps acquired from the wife – perhaps selected from the pairs dotted all over the house and garage, it really is up to you – placed over each other and hey, presto, I could see LOADS OF STUFFS.
This gave me another idea. I quickly acquired an extra pair from the wife and then collected all of the pairs that were dotted all over the house and garage. Then I burgled the local chemist and chucked all the pairs on top of each other.
And then I looked.

Oh. My. God.

The results were remarkable, if a little scary. It appears that I had created a nerd-like (but rather effective) face-mounted microscope. With incredible power.

We’ve all heard how many bacteria there are on a kitchen dishcloth, right?
Well, now I could count them.
From my bedroom.

This was fantastic, and I’ve already applied to the local patent office to ensure that no-one steals my idea.

Indeed, the only issue I could see (geddit?!?) with this marvelous new-found vision-accentuating device was that my field of vision was now sadly some distance beyond my field of reach, making it rather difficult to actually utilise this undoubtedly exciting and potentially life-altering ability.

“Now, if only I could somehow change that,” I thought, as I pulled on my gloves and headed out into the cold.

2 thoughts on “Double Vision

  1. Love your humour……………now have vision of multispectacled individual leering at dishcloth bacteria from crack in bedroom door.

    Leave a Reply