Great news on funding for the Notting Hill Carnival.
A whole pound. I’m sure that will make all the difference with those “critical public safety concerns”.
Don’t spend it all at once.
It reminded me of the story when this guy missed his jugular vein by “just” 1m.
I don’t know if it was meant to be a centimetre or a millimetre, but either way, it’s clearly not much of a story if it’s a metre, given that that is pretty much the distance from your neck at which chainsaws routinely operate.
Just like I’m not sure if that’s actually a million pounds above, but it certainly would be a story if they’d saved the Notting Hill Carnival by finding £1 of extra funding.
Of course, there’s a bit of a more serious issue here: the continuing slide in standards of journalism.
We knew this was coming. And we know that the replacement for BBC Sounds is the BBC app, which won’t allow me (or anyone else outside the UK) to listen to 6Music.
And that’s still true.
But there is a link in this article which… (unless I’m missing something) allows you to listen to 6Music – just not on the BBC Sounds app.
So this was never about a rights problem with the music, then?
But hey, that’s absolutely fine by me. I will still be able to listen to 6Music here in SA, and that’s all that matters.
To me, at least.
I can’t test it just yet, because it links straight to the BBC Sounds app – which still works.
Things are getting (more) dangerous in Scotland. And by things, I mean Seagull Attacks. So much so, that now politicians there are calling for a summit to discuss the issue.
See?
How will this help? Will the seagulls be attending? And if so, will they agree to cease their ever more terrifying acts of violent assault on Scottish people – especially the children?
Yes. Exactly. Because they are the ones that are being attacked:
Ms Hamilton said “aggressive” seagulls had attacked seven children in one month last year in Eyemouth, leaving one girl “with gashes to her scalp and blood running down her face”.
Thankfully, this was in the town of Eyemouth and not Carotidartery. Maybe choose to live somewhere that doesn’t give them ideas.
And it’s no wonder that people are scared when you look at the size of the gulls in the article above.
That one is almost as big as a church. And that would be terrifying if it came after you. Although this church (and presumably the massive seagull) are on the West coast of Scotland (in Largs), while Eyemouth in on the East coast. But I do think that I remember reading once that seagulls can fly, so I don’t think that you’re 100% safe even with that geographical assistance.
Anyway, it’s clearly something that NatureScot – the Scottish Nature people responsible for licensing control of the birds and… er… also conserving them – need to sort out. The MPs aren’t happy about their efforts so far:
The behaviour of the SNP’s quango NatureScot confirms they have lost the plot. They have told people to protect themselves with umbrellas and even suggested dogs as a deterrent.
Umbrellas for the birds attacking from above, dogs for the assaults from ground level, I presume. It really wouldn’t work any other way, right?
The strength of the cross-party support in my debate today should be all the SNP government need to finally act before we see someone killed due to being attacked by a gull.
It’s not clear (to me, at least) how exactly this would occur. Unless the gulls are carrying knives and guns now. And the victim is umbrella and dogless. In which case they were asking for trouble, anyway.
Our seagulls in Cape Town are nowhere near as big or aggressive as these Scottish monsters. Although I would still advise you to take an umbrella down to the Waterfront if you’re headed there this weekend.
United have a first round Carabao Cup tie away at Birmingham City.
And we described it on our website as:
Tip?
Interesting example. Anyway…
Look. I’m thinking that whoever did the title meant “trip”, but also that they had – at some point – visited Birmingham, and thus their subconscious took control of their typing fingers.
Hard to argue with it, though. I wouldn’t edit this at all.
I mentioned here that padel is a bit of an elitist sport in South Africa.
Well, just look:
Apparently it’s also a bit of an elitist sport in the UK, as well.
According to the Lawn Tennis Association (LTA), there are currently around 800 padel courts in Britain, but over 400,000 players. Research by Ray Algar, an expert on the economics of sport and exercise, shows that the average off-peak court hire in the UK is about £30, but peak time prices can reach £80 at some venues.
Thirty quid isn’t far off what a court costs in SA, and while the cost of living here is much lower (meaning that in real terms, padel is more expensive here than there), eighty pounds (basically R2000) an hour is completely ridiculous.
The rise of the racquet sport – usually played in doubles on an enclosed court where balls can be played off the walls – has been helped by influencers and celebrity players such as Stormzy.
I think that Stormzy was the guy who got a lot of the middle-class, white South Africans into padel as well. It’s a perhaps surprising crossover between tax advisory services and accountancy during the day, and then banging out freestyle rhymes over classic grime beats in the evening while playing shit tennis in a fish tank, but it does happen.
The plan in the UK is to open more courts:
As the organisation that looks after padel in the UK, the LTA has launched a new five-year strategy that aims to work with local authorities to build more courts.
See? And the aim here is getting a more diverse cohort involved in the sport. But this has never really worked with polo, and I can’t see it happening with padel in the near future, either.
There are far better options: You can book a 5-a-side court for less than a padel court here, you can spread the cost ten ways instead of four, and all you need is a R200 football instead of four plastic bats whose costs stretch into five figures.
You might not get the inter-game spreadsheet banter that you crave, but it’s still a decent workout.
It’s fine. Padel won’t be around forever, and then it’s only a matter of time until the next elitist fad comes around. And whatever that might be will eventually be “ruined” by letting “common people” have a go at it as well. So I guess the padelers should enjoy it while they can.
