Taken last night at 18:22 CAT:
Posted here 12 hours later (with no enhancement whatsoever) for your enjoyment.
Category: this is south africa
Pwned.
As a biologist, I know that if you want to know what something does in a biological system, you remove it and see what happens. Usually, this results in a mouse dying.
Seacom decided to see what happened to South Africa today when routine maintenance work on an internet cable ran over by… ooh… ages and then observed the effects from the safety of Seacom Towers or wherever they hide away when businesses and livelihoods are being ruined.
South Africa, as with the humble laboratory mouse, promptly died.
There were rumours that the outage was going to last until Friday. And that would have been really bad. But it seems (since I’m writing this) that normal service (slow & patchy) has been resumed. It was fortunate that tomorrow is a Public Holiday and many people had taken today off to have an extra long weekend.
Thus, the murine casualties were limited. But it did show just how thin the line is between happy working internet and business stopping completely.
I only just got to write this blog post. That’s how serious it was.
UPDATE: Some agreement and some more detail from Hilton Tarrant.
Did the earth move for you in 2005?
The chatter in Gauteng is (possibly) all about last night’s Gauteng earthquake/tremor which, it turns out, wasn’t in Gauteng at all. It measured 2.8 on the Richter scale and twitter was instantly ablaze with the thought that the Daily Star’s prophecy might actually have come true, although of course a quick look at this page would tell you that Southern Africa is actually hit fairly regularly by small earthquakes.
There’s no way of actually predicting where or when an earthquake might strike. If there was – like there is with volcanoes – then evacuations could take place and the number of casualties would be drastically reduced. Obviously there are areas which are at higher risk than others, but you’ll find that SA is pretty safe in this regard.
Which makes Chris van der Walt’s prediction that:
an enormous earthquake is going to hit the Rand (Greater Johannesburg area) very soon…
somewhat bizarre. Even more so when you hear the details of this enormous earthquake:
The earth opened up like a massive chasm with buildings toppling over. It stretched from the east and south of Johannesburg and came together in the city centre. From there it continued to the West Rand.
Yikes. And who told Chris that all this was going to happen?
Well, that would be the Holy Spirit. Yep – a voice from upstairs.
But look, it’s not all bad news. Chris points out that you might get away in time (but terms and conditions apply):
Again I say what the Lord said: “An enormous earthquake is going to hit the Rand (greater Johannesburg area) soon and it is unavoidable. It is going to be disastrous. I will protect My children who listen and take them away in time.”
Which to me seem to be a bit of a threat to sign up to christianity or die a horrible death in Johannesburg in late 2005.
Chris continues:
In me there is no doubt about the genuineness of this word of God and it will also be proved the day when the earthquake occurs.
Which, of course it never did: casting some doubt on the “genuineness” of the big man upstairs.
All in all, I feel hugely let down by this god thing again. Just like when he topped those 5 kids last February. Instead of saving people in Haiti, where a real earthquake really happened and killed about a quarter of a million people, he’s wasting everyone’s time by talking to Chris in Gauteng and making a mountain out of a minedump.
Chris says:
God does not say these things as a merciless, cruel God. On the contrary, He gives this word to warn people unto repentance, irrelevant of their culture or religion.
I don’t see it that way. I see a god who is going to kill many thousands of people by a non-existent earthquake tearing open a massive chasm through the city, complete with toppling buildings. And the only people who are going to be saved are, conveniently, those in his religion.
Which all sounds pretty merciless and cruel to me.
The other Icelandic export
The spotlight this week has been firmly placed on Iceland. Iceland is of course, best known for giving the rest of the world two things: Volcanic ash & Björk. Its major import is money from investors across Europe, which it loses and doesn’t give back. With my psuedo-Viking heritage, it’s somewhere I have always wanted to visit. One day, I shall, and I will enjoy a meal or two of their other lesser known export: puffin.
Yes, these comical little seabirds are actually eaten over there. Living in South Africa, with its proud history of braai’ing anything and everything one can find, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised about this.
And who can blame the locals for utilising anything as a food source when you look at the barren volcanic landscapes that surround them?
Needs must and all that.
Come now – it might look cute – OK, it does look cute – but it’s basically just a chicken with a funny beak. And you don’t have any issues with eating chicken, do you? So there’s no real difference between you visiting KFC or RFP (Reykjavik Fried Puffin), is there?
Of course, they don’t do anything quite so vulgar as rolling it in breadcrumbs and giving it to some gormless high school dropout to boil in dirty oil. No, there are traditional recipies that have been followed by the Icelandic people for many years:
4 puffins
50g smoked bacon
50g butter
300ml milk
300ml water
salt to taste
Puffins should be skinned or carefully plucked and singed. Remove the innards and discard. You can use the breasts alone, or cook the whole birds. Wash well in cold water and rub with salt, inside and out. If you are using whole birds, truss them. Draw strips of bacon through the breasts. Brown the birds on all sides, and stuff the birds tightly into a cooking pot. Heat the milk and water and pour over the puffins. Bring to the boil and cook on low for 1-2 hours (test the birds for softness). Turn the birds occasionally.
It sounds delicious – and it looks like this:
As flickr user wili_hybrid says:
We brought back ten smoked puffins from our trip to Iceland. My brother’s girlfriend Jenni combined some traditional puffin recipes and came up with a delicious variant where the puffins are boiled for hours in a mixture of milk, beer and bacon, and served with a variety of different jams and jellies. The meat was much more game-like than what I expected (the taste almost resembling that of a reindeer) as the puffins I’ve tried before have tasted rather fishy.
Sadly, there are no puffins in South Africa. However, they are fairly closely related to penguins and we have plenty of them – as my daughter happily points out.
I’m quite sure that I could slip one into a bag at Boulders and then into a pot at home…
Persisting problems
Because of persisting internet issues, I don’t think I’m going to be able to get much up here today.
For some reason, my router appears to have duplicated the home network, added a “2” on the end of it and is refusing to let me connect. It’s a Local Area Network problem, which means I can’t blame anyone. And that’s annoying.
This apparently autonomous behaviour is mildly concerning, but as long as it doesn’t go on to influence the rest of the household electronic devices and appliances into some sort of revolt, especially bearing in mind that the dishwasher can be particularly militant, it’s not the end of the world.
And that’s because I really can’t be arsed to be arsed. It’s a twin step apathy thing. There is football to be watched and – after another dreadful night last night – brandy to be drunk and sleep to be… well… slept. I hope.
Stop Press – network connection reappears just long enough for me to – oh wait – it’s gone again. Bugger.