Category: the lockdown diaries

Day 119 – Dead bread

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A day tremendously full of dull tasks, followed by a quick stroll in the Green Belt and a (quite literal) point and shoot job for the ‘Gram.

Step into the light, Carol Ann.

That was nice, but I have sad news: Mama, the Bread Maker, is no more. Her motor breathed its last today and I’m going to have to make all my bread by hand now. Mama served us well for many years, providing many fresh loaves and plenty (or more) portions of pizza dough, without any complaint.

She now literally has nothing to prove anymore. She will be missed.

I have taken the last bread mix from her baking tin and attempted to continue her legacy to go with our homemade soup this evening. This could be the start of a new era.

Or an absolute disaster. Let’s see.

Day 118 – Really?

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In a country where everything – everything – gets touched by the thieving hands of Government corruption, it’s good to know that someone is finally standing up and fighting corruption. That someone is… [checks notes] er… [checks notes again] er… apparently, it’s… The Government.

This image, appended to the bottom of this tweet:

Government remains committed to building an ethical State in which there is no place for corruption, patronage, rent-seeking and plundering of public money. Report any suspected corrupt activities. #AntiCorruption #FightingCorruption Read more: gov.za/anticorruption

reminded me of [an analogy I decided not to use*] or the Pope encouraging people to come forward and root out Catholicism.

It’s literally everywhere (corruption, not Catholicism) (although…) from the President’s office down.

 

They say a fish rots from the head, but there’s smelly sludge all over the gills, fins and tail in this case. (Can you tell that I never did more than basic fish biology during my studies?)

R4.8 million for someone to go door to door and tell people about Covid-19 – R2640 per person. A cool ten and a half grand if there’s a family of four at home when you call.

There’s R29.7 million “missing” in KZN.

The R500 billion coronavirus fund was obviously just too good an opportunity to miss:

So:

And I should probably just not mention the Eastern Cape Scooter Fiasco*.

These examples were not hard to find, at all. And one could argue that at least someone is documenting, recording and reporting them. But mostly, nothing ever happens about these cases, and even on the odd occasion when it does, the perpetrators are re-employed by their equally corrupt colleagues (and/or political party) soon afterwards anyway.

So where is the punishment?

So what is the point?

But then for the government – arguably the most guilty entity for both the enabling of and looting of public money – to tell us that “Fighting corruption is everyone’s business”?

I’ve honestly never heard such utterly hypocritical bullshit.

 

 

* 100 words in was just too soon to invoke Godwin’s Law. 
** I actually saw The Eastern Cape Scooter Fiasco on the Friday at Reading in 2007. Great drummer. Energetic performance. 

Day 117, part 2 – Traffic solution

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Here’s a thing I spotted on Twitter today (I have lost where from though).

I’m not claiming that it’s the be-all and end-all of the traffic problems that major cities around the world face, but it might go some way to sorting them out.

I don’t have the figures in front of me (or anywhere else either, actually), but I would imagine that bought shit does mean more trucks on our roads. Therefore, stopping buying shit should also mean fewer trucks.

It all makes sense. So there you have it, if you don’t like trucks, simply stop buying shit.

Problem solved.

Day 117 – A new challenger approaches

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Baxter Dury had the 6000 miles… Album Of The Year title all wrapped up for 2020.

Then came lockdown, and the effects of lockdown. I know that feeling.

And suddenly, a new challenger approaches: it are Doves, with their first new release in 11 years.

And the first two tracks from The Universal Want are very special. We’ve already had a look and listen at Carousels. Now, here’s Prisoners:

Sure, two tracks out of ten doth not a summer make, but the signs are very good, aren’t they?

Now firm date for release just yet, but I’m looking forward to this in exactly the same way that Baxter probably isn’t.

Day 116 – A very poor example by Jesus

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This is very disappointing from Jesus and his Disciples. Offered up to us throughout our childhoods as a shining example of how to lead our lives, I’ve just been sent this image of Him and His friends out and about last night, and quite frankly, I’m shocked.

Let me just say that I’m not impressed with the idea of celebrities not being able to lead their private lives privately, either. I wouldn’t usually use a paparazzi shot like this on the blog.

But this has got me mad.

Zero social distancing. And not a mask in sight.

Appalling.

I’ll bet that they didn’t even sign in with their contact details for Track and Trace in case someone ends up with the bad Covid. Which they will, because, I mean, just look at the state of this.

And while the restaurant owner needs to step up and take some responsibility – why not space them out over both sides of the table for starters (and the other courses)?? – this really comes down squarely on the shoulders of the guys at the table. I’m willing to bet that alcohol was involved here: they’ve clearly all been on the water and have forgotten about the rules and regulations put in place to protect us all.

And are those Jägerbombs on the table? That’s illegal.

Look, it’s all very well dying for the sins of mankind, but when stuff about your private life like this comes out, it really devalues the whole message. Very poor.

Get it together, for Christ’s sake.