Afrikaans Celebrity Voices on your GPS

File under: Titles you never thought you’d see on 6000 miles…

But, anyway:
Local company GPS Creative have been in touch with their latest product range – the perfect gift for a the man (or woman) who has everything this Christmas.

After all – who wants to hear that monotone, computerised american chick giving you directions when you could have the dulcet tones of Minki van der what’s-her-surname-this-week telling you exactly where she wants you to go?

I’d better just clarify – I think you get her voice as an add-on for your GPS, not actually her.
Still – you can dream.

And there are more: Kurt Darren, Oom Kallie Marie, Os du Randt, Pieter Koen, Shaleen Surtie-Richards – not to mention the legendarily ageless Riaan Cruywagen – to mention but a few.
It’s like the pages of HuisGenoot and Sarie (my inspirasie) have come to life and are accurately directing you to hard to find geographical locations.

So click on the banners and get the celebrity voice of your choice at the special rate of R149.95.
And they have an offer on right now: buy one voice and receive Bruno the Bender AND Franco Fontein absolutely FREE!


Last minute help

I guess it depends what you define as “last minute”, but things are certainly moving towards the dangerous end of the scale if you haven’t done your christmas shopping for your other half yet.
But never fear – 6000 miles… is here to help. And how.

Behold – the Inflatable Toast Mattress:


Breakfast in bed? No, breakfast IS the bed! Sleeping on this giant 6′ by 7′ Inflatable Toast Mattress is likely to make you dream that you are a pad of butter and that you are floating down a river of freshly brewed coffee.
In reality, you should not use the Inflatable Toast Mattress as a flotation device nor should you expose it to excessive heat. This piece of toast is made of plastic, not bread, so if you wake up and smell burning toast, you are probably just having a stroke.

At just $169.95 (that’s a mere R1,274.63 at today’s exchange rate), this is the ideal gift for someone that… erm… really likes… toast.


But if that doesn’t quite fit the bill, then how about these other suggested gift ideas?


I’m told that inflatable turkey with an inflatable fruitcake dessert is the christmas meal of choice for those trying to shed a few kilos. Air is virtually calorie free, while most humans are unable to digest polyethylene vinyl. 
Sounds ever so healthy. But if you end up getting sick, you can always retire to your toast mattress.

Michael Jennings goes to Chernobyl

Another link via Brian Micklethwait, this time to Michael Jennings’ Samizdata post about his trip to Chernobyl.

We were told that we were about to visit the most radioactive place on the whole trip. Geiger counters were brought out, and we watched the numbers double, triple, and quadruple, to a level far higher than we had seen near the reactor itself. Out the window we could see overgrown grass fields. It was clear nobody stopped here for trivial reasons. We drove through. It was clearly not a place for a roadside picnic.

There’s too much to summarise fully – a bit of history, some personal stuff, some cool photos – but it’s a brilliantly written and fascinating account and really well worth the read.

As Jennings says:

The USSR was dark, strange, mysterious, and seemingly eternal.

Much like their abandoned polar nuclear lighthouses.

Questions, questions…

I will be expecting a lot of them this evening at the JDI charity quiz evening at Cafe Roux in Noordhoek  this evening.

The money raised will be shared between the Bulungula Incubator in the Transkei and Ferndale Primary in Ottery.

The Bulungula Incubator strives to be a catalyst for the creation of a vibrant and sustainable rural community. One of their focus areas is Education – the rehabilitation of their local Primary School as well as establishing an Early Learning Centre. The Primary School Building collapsed 3 years ago and the teachers hardly came to work – only 5 days taught in 2007. There was no food, furniture, books, toilets and the average attendance was only 40 percent.
In short it was and still is dysfunctional.  JDI are striving to make it functional! 

Ferndale Primary School in Ottery is much closer to home and far more functional but their hardworking, dedicated staff members could do with some recognition. Funds raised will go toward making the staff room a little more comfortable for staff on their much deserved breaks.

Education is, without doubt, the most important factor in influencing any nation’s future, but particularly this one. And teachers are, without doubt, the key to getting a decent education and are, without doubt, hopelessly underpaid for their important work.
JDI have worked on over 200 projects across South Africa, improving the lives and hopes of thousands of people and I’m very happy to be going along, quaffing expensive beer and (hopefully) winning some big prizes while supporting their excellent work.

I would invite you along, but I’m told that it was sold out over a month ago. Apologies and all that.

Half Price Cape Sunsets

The Table Mountain Cableway are offering half price trips up the mountain after 6pm for the next four months:


Table Mountain Cableway: Four months of sunsets at half price.
Cableway goes ½ price from 6pm.
Valid from 1 November 2009 – 28 February 2010.
Adult return R80.00. Child return R40.00 (under 18).
Information line (021) 424 8181. Cableway operates weather permitting.


I haven’t been up the mountain for ages and this seems like the perfect excuse for a few beers and some stunning views.
And this time, I’ll take my camera!