Pistoriusballs Flash

INCISIVE: As #OscarTrial returns, and with only limited time to play with before she returns to the mundane issues of Ebola, genocide and terrorism, everyone’s second favourite Sky News crowdpleaser Alex Crawford gave us this absolute gem, worthy of a post of its own:

Aren’t we all, Alex? Aren’t we all?

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I’m no expert in the forced removal of judicial buildings, but I think that this is somewhat unlikely. And with the court still firmly in place, there’s even time during a murder trial for a whimsical reference to that cookbook:

But there’s good news from Andrew Harding:

Meanwhile, Wayne Derman says you need a dollop of butter in that. Probably.      

So many meanings we could read into this. But I think it’s just that Lucy wants to get home before 3Talk with Noeleen begins.

Of course she does, because we should never – NEVER – underestimate the travails of the courtroom journalist:

Also there are communal showers. And each evening you have to sleep with 65 TB-riddled criminals. Or something…

The prison reference? Yes, it is.


So you can choose your own teatime tomorrow… Enjoy!

REMEMBER: You can see the full PistoriusBalls series by clicking here.

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Ah yes. We return, following a month or more of psychological assessment for the defendant. And the first and most important order of business is, of course, that psychological report… Right after we’ve dealt with the Pistorious family’s scent choices, that is:

It’s like some sort of twisted reunion:

And we’ve missed your insane ramblings too, Charl. Almost as much as we’ve missed Barry “Oscar gives me followers” Bateman and his incisive and detailed commentary:

Not everyone in the class can concentrate that hard and that long though.
There’s always that one class clown, isn’t there, ruining things for everyone else?

It’s your own time you’re wasting, Phillip. *teacher sighs*
Why can’t you be more attentive, like David?

Was this ring binder the blue file? Why didn’t Bateman tell us about the highlighting? What colour was the pen? What model is the iPhone?

Find out all this and more, tomorrow, in the next thrilling installment of PistoriusBalls!

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Day 24 and an unexpected change of tack.
We’re now working from the ‘Eye For An Eye’ School of Justice Manual…


Got to suggest that this is premeditated, right?


Are you watching, students of the noble art? THIS. IS. JOURNALISM!  


Meanwhile, talking of “journalism”, new levels of desperation have been reached on News24:

Look out for their exclusive Pistorius headline tomorrow: “There Were A Few More People Here Than Yesterday, However Their Numbers Still Didn’t Really Match Up With The Larger Amount Of Observers Which We Noted Earlier In The Week, But Was Obviously Greater In Number Than Last Thursday, Which Was Notable For The Fact The The Courtroom Was Surprisingly Sparsely Attended”


You’re imagining Barry Roux winking at you?
I dunno. Is there such a thing as demob desperate?
Lest we forget, you were imagining his opponent half naked on a tropical beach paradise just yesterday (see above).


Really, Andrew? Is this honestly your understanding of what someone would do were their opponent to bring a comb to a knife fight? “Jab at his qualifications and credibility”?
‘Cos I’d guess that they’d probably just stab him. Unpleasant? Sure. But let’s face it, it’s a knife fight and he’s turned up with a comb. What does he expect? His qualifications and credibility to be jabbed at?
I doubt that very much.
No, I think that with your remark, you may be confusing ‘a knife fight’ with ‘a qualifications and credibility jabbing session’ and they’re really not the same thing, their only common factor being that I wouldn’t bring a comb along to either occasion.


And then that was it. For a couple of weeks, at least.

WANT MOAR BALLS? PistoriusBalls Archive.

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Day Twenty-something and we’re still trying to knock off before 3pm…

Mmm. People jam is my favourite, just ahead of Strawberry, and Fig.


Sadly not. I can still see you.


Come on, people. This is very disappointing. It’s almost as if Reeva died in vain.


No idea. Have you tried the Asian percussion section in your local music shop?


Strange decision. Is the courtroom busy or something?
Oh God… will it be televised? 🙁