One ocean and over a thousand kilometres of coastline

That’s what our erstwhile absolutely [redacted] useless Minister of Transport has apparently found and added to the nations seaboard.

I mean, it’s pretty well known that the Atlantic and Indian Oceans meet at Cape Agulhas, the former continuing right up to Europe and across to the Americas, the latter heading east to… well… India and across to Australia. That’s just two oceans though, and the name is well represented in SA, from wine to aquariums to marathons. Because there isn’t a third ocean around South Africa.
Google “three oceans” and your only real hit is a company in Hull UK, whose claim to fame appears to be making corrugated cardboard from fish waste.

I’ve no idea either.

But hey, maybe he’s talking about the Southern Ocean. Butno: that doesn’t touch South Africa at all. It’s WAY south of even us.

Ocean - Wikipedia

In fact, if you are going to suggest that we are “surrounded” by three oceans, you’re kind of implying that Namibia, Botswana, Zimbabwe and Mozambique make up that third ocean.

Which they don’t. Namibia is mostly sand, Botswana is mostly elephants, Zimbabwe is mostly corrupt politicians and Mozambique is our local Al-Shabab terrorist hangout. Those are land, and don’t represent the constituent parts of an ocean.

But that’s not the only thing he is wrong on: South Africa is big, but it’s not 3,900 kilometers of coastline big:

Now, I don’t expect anyone – even a government minister – to necessarily know that 2,850km figure offhand. But where did 3,900 come from, and why would anyone not check it before putting it on a press release and allowing this meat clown to tweet it?

It smacks of complete ineptitude. Almost like they don’t know what they are doing.
How surprising. /s

And finally, what a brilliant and innovative plan to try to capitalise on the strategic geographical position of South Africa as far as shipping routes are concerned. Just 370 years and a couple of weeks after one Jan van Riebeeck came up with pretty much the same idea. Of course, it turned out that Jan and his organisation weren’t the nicest guys around, and so Fikile and the ANC will be right at home in their company.

Your loadshedding questions answered

An occasional series in which I endeavour to provide answers to all your queries about the lack of electricity in South Africa at the moment.

Today’s question comes from Confused of Cape Town:

Do you get loadshedding on board ships?

No. You don’t.

Loadshedding is thankfully limited to things which are attached to Eskom’s national grid. Things like boats (and planes), which aren’t physically joined to the electricity system, are therefore not affected by loadshedding.

We’re still working on the technology which means that ships can be attached to land-based electricity. At the moment, all the wires keep getting tangled as soon as the vessels leave port.

This is why cruise liners and container ships rely on candies for light during their journeys.

Here we go again: the fifth wave

It looks like the fifth wave might be here slightly earlier than was predicted. So early days (literally), but things are certainly beginning to tick over a bit more quickly…

Wastewater being those poo studies we mentioned a long while back, test positivity being this:

Reading backwards, i.e. most recent data on the left. (Otherwise it would be looking great!)
And Gauteng numbers are looking like this:

We’re certainly not there yet (we’d need a 20% week-on-week change in positivity for it to be classed as a “resurgence”) and the Western Cape is currently recording an increase of just under 10% for that figure. But this is how every other wave has begun, so why should we expect anything different this time?

Watch this space.

Bucket List tour

Spotted on Twitter last week and Pocketed, and now he’s written it up in a handy blog post. Excellent, and well worth my procrastination in sharing it.

(FO because it tried to render the Faroese flag and failed)

But yes, it does exactly what it says in the title. Our man flies to Torshavn, hires a van, and spends a couple of days visiting local football stadiums. The experience is magical and the views are incredible.

There’s a lovely little passage about each of the grounds he visited, and some great photos.

The crazy thing is, you can literally just rock up to any ground and go have a kick about… Imagine doing that at Hampden or Wembley!

That does sound like fun. Unfortunately, it seems unlikely that I’m going to get to the Faroes any time soon, so I’m living vicariously through Andy’s blog right now.

But that’s not to say that we don’t have some amazing pitches of our own. Anyone who has ever had the pleasure of playing at Camps Bay High will know that this image from the school’s website:

…really doesn’t do it justice.

It’s got mountains; it’s got sea. Less snow, though. In case that’s what you were after.

Photo credits: Andy Robson; CBHS