Friday ephemera

The June 1st edition:

Because I have been busy fighting with the outrageous sling and arrows of the WfHII (which is now over and wasn’t actually that bad), I have been left with no clue of what has happened in the outside world over the past few days. Given the state of things when I descended into said week, that’s probably no bad thing. But since I am playing catch up, please enjoy some ephemera with me.

Text from Dog continues to amuse | Someone did a map of where Ludacris has “hoes” | I took a photo of Table Mountain from miles away | Here are the 11 greatest ManBabies ever | Brian Micklethwait described some blog issues hilariously and said some nice things | That slinky on a treadmill video | An amazing collection of contrails pictures | People on twitter use an unfunny phrase | More videos of Apocalypse sounds | 180,000 post-it notes | Firefighter practical exam | Eduard Khil is in a coma 🙁 | The despicable HIVEX has closed down.

There. I hope you clicked through to every single one of those. They are ALL totes worth it.

Racial hatred in SA – there is Hope

Sadly, the Hope in question is Christopher Hope, writing for the Guardian on Eugene Terre’Blanche – his life, his murder, the trial and what it does (or rather what it doesn’t do) for South Africa.

It’s been a while since I’ve been drawn into an article in the way I was drawn into this one. Informative, personal and brutally honest, it’s a really interesting view into Terre’Blanche’s life, his views and his attitude. He even (quite rightly, in my opinion) compares ET to Julius Malema:

It is said that Terre’Blanche has no heirs but I’m not sure about that. He constantly vowed he would die for the volk. This is one of those coded games the power-hungry have always played in South Africa and it rarely fools anyone. Pious protestations to the contrary, what drives politics in this country is fear and anger, and what counts in the end is firepower.

When people speak of dying for their beliefs, they mean, all too often, that they will kill for them.It is a sentiment that has even been set to music. Julius Malema, the ANC youth movement leader until he was suspended recently, has made a song of the struggle years, Kill the Boer, into his theme tune and though a court has condemned it as “hate speech”, it continues to be sung. Hatred is not something that can be suspended by court rulings. There is very real anger in the country and it has not been addressed.

And in closing, more honest truths:

Outside the Pennywise Pawn Shop an old ox-wagon waits on the sidewalk, unlikely ever to find a buyer. The clocks on each bell tower of the three Dutch Reformed churches had stopped; the old order they represented has gone. Gone, too, is Eugene Terre’Blanche. What remains is the bitter disillusion on all sides of the racial divide that his murder has laid bare. You may kill the Boer, as the song invites, but the anger – what will anyone do about that?

It’s something that was unsurprisingly brought out into the open by the murder of Terre’Blanche, but these days, almost everything seems to elicit the same sort of reaction. The DA march to COSATU House was, apparently, not about politics, but about whites inciting  black on black violence. The Spear saga turned from being about having the rights of dignity and of freedom of speech, to being a debate on racism – forget the fact that JZ is the President, how could a white artist have portrayed a black man in that way?

In backing down and removing the artwork from their gallery and website, The Goodman Gallery has apparently saved themselves a court appearance but their action risks the issues which divide the country being swept back under the rug. The trouble is, each time this has happened, it results in a bigger and bigger lump and I have this horrible feeling that someone is going to trip over in front of the fireplace very soon.

So yes, however uncomfortable this is, we need to get these issues out in the open.
The trouble is that those who should be leading the process and guiding people in this regard are actually the ones crying foul.

Nick Taras reviews a One Direction concert

for beat magazine in Australia:

(Please excuse the occasional bad language.)

For those unaware, One Direction are a teenage British boy band who are just the right combination of good looks and shitty pop music to seduce the hearts of young girls worldwide, and just young enough for Kony to kidnap. They released an album calledUp All Night (which has dominated charts worldwide) and got away with it because of their young, clean image. It was considered “cute” and “playfully naughty”. Yet if Dr Dre put out an album with the exact same title it would be considered “extremely vulgar” and “too heavy on references to hardcore everlasting sex”. One Direction are in their late teens. Just sayin’.

I must admit that I was not in a grand mood before One Direction. Firstly, in some form of sick joke, I was asked to review this band, and then I was told I couldn’t get a +1. I was alone. At One Direction. And I paid $10 for parking. And then I was seated between two groups of horrifyingly loud 14-year-old girls. It wasawesome depressing and a low point in my career. But then things got better, and I was transformed into a good mood becausethese girls were hot! I was interested in seeing why such a colossal chaos was made of this boy band.

One Direction, with less collective hairs beneath their underwear than hairs on my face, came out to the sound of a screaming pre-pubescent frenzy. I knew I was in for a musical orgasm after Niall (is that even a real name) started strumming his cool air guitar in time with the drum beat. As both instruments do in fact make a form of noise, I will refrain from further criticism.

Not long after, they performed their most puzzling hit, What Makes You Beautiful, a gem which contains the bizarre lyric: “You don’t know you’re beautiful/Oh oh/That’s what makes you beautiful”. I can’t understand how this lyric has gone under the radar. It roughly translates to “You have no sense of self-worth/Oh oh/That’s why I like you”. One Direction are obviously sickeningly attracted to girls with low self-esteem. Other lyrics from that song include the repetitive chanting of “Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana” – quite reminiscent of the schoolyard tease chant of “Nana Nana Na”.

By far the highlight of the evening was a break in the performance where the band read the tweets from audience members which featured various questions. My favourite tweet was “Who can jump the highest?” The members of the band then all attempted to find out who was the most talented jumper. They each took turns, one by one, jumping on stage and then high fiving each other. It was a moment that will go down in rock history; a moment where I can say, “I was there”.

I hate my fucking shitty job.

BY NICK TARAS

LOVED: When Louis jumped really high.

HATED: The expensive price of chips.

DRANK: Didn’t serve alcohol but I had chips. They were good but not cheap!

*shrug* At least he enjoyed the chips.

Eddie & Mike

Ah – another proud moment for South Africa as the world looks on.

Eddie Izzard’s attempt to run 27 marathons in 27 days in South Africa has had to be postponed, “just” four days in:

I set out to run 27 marathons in 27 days as a tribute to Nelson Mandela and his 27 years spent in prison.

Having completed 4 marathons, unfortunately, I have had to put my attempt on hold due to unforeseen medical complications that have arisen due to a multitude of factors including severe terrain, humidity and altitude. But I wish to say that my attempt is not over and I will return to South Africa and run the 27 marathons and finish this story.

I owe that to Nelson Mandela who has inspired the world to struggle and succeed no matter what obstacles are thrown at us.

There are literally hundreds of supportive comments in response to the post.

And then there’s this one from Mike Finch:

This is awkward and embarrassing, at best. Is it meant to be funny? Is it meant to be a bit of a dig at the English?
Or maybe a dig at Eddie personally?

Even runners like you?

It’s not surprising you only lasted four marathons

Really?
This is the guy who did 43 marathons in 51 days a couple of years back. I’m no huge fan of Eddie Izzard, but that is a pretty huge achievement.

Now he is in SA supporting and honouring the South African hero. And yet you ridicule him?

And what on earth is:

This is Africa… where men never cry and women do… a lot

meant to mean?

All in all, it would be a pretty awful comment from anyone, really, but then it turns out that Mike is the editor of Runnersworld magazine.
He’s educated.
He allegedly “knows about running”.
He edits the most popular running magazine on the continent.

And yet he gives us that condescending, uninformed crap?

No wonder I’m not a subscriber. Are you?

UPDATE: Opinion seems divided over the Mike Finch post. The overwhelming majority are with me: the comment is rude, disrespectful, uninformed and crass. Mike does have some support though.
The division exists almost completely (although not absolutely) along the line of whether the individual knows Mike or not. Those friends of Mike are incredulous that I or anyone else could read anything but humour into his Facebook comment. And that, to me, probably shows that Mike’s comment was probably an attempt to be humorous. (I still don’t get the “women cry a lot bit”, though.)

However, what these unobservant birds fail to notice is that the vast majority of Eddie Izzard’s 445,000 fans on Facebook aren’t personal friends of Mike Finch. So on their reading, his comment will have come across as rude, disrespectful, uninformed and crass.

As someone charged with editing a popular magazine, and when commenting to 445,000 fans of Eddie Izzard, perhaps Mike should have thought about writing more for the masses and not for his mates.

Another feather in the cap of Christianity

Some bloke paints a painting which some other people don’t like, how should you respond?

Let’s ask Nazareth Baptist (Shembe) Church spokesman Enoch Mthembu, shall we?

A person who committed such a serious sin deserves to be stoned to death.

And why?

That is according to the church constitution, the Bible, which guides us.

Right.

Cue outraged comments that Enoch doesn’t speak for every Christian.

Oh. OK. Just the ones that are guided by the Bible then, yes?