Category: in the news

Danger Gulls in Scotland

Posted on

Things are getting (more) dangerous in Scotland. And by things, I mean Seagull Attacks. So much so, that now politicians there are calling for a summit to discuss the issue.

See?

How will this help? Will the seagulls be attending? And if so, will they agree to cease their ever more terrifying acts of violent assault on Scottish people – especially the children?

Yes. Exactly. Because they are the ones that are being attacked:

Ms Hamilton said “aggressive” seagulls had attacked seven children in one month last year in Eyemouth, leaving one girl “with gashes to her scalp and blood running down her face”.

Thankfully, this was in the town of Eyemouth and not Carotidartery. Maybe choose to live somewhere that doesn’t give them ideas.

And it’s no wonder that people are scared when you look at the size of the gulls in the article above.

That one is almost as big as a church. And that would be terrifying if it came after you. Although this church (and presumably the massive seagull) are on the West coast of Scotland (in Largs), while Eyemouth in on the East coast. But I do think that I remember reading once that seagulls can fly, so I don’t think that you’re 100% safe even with that geographical assistance.

Anyway, it’s clearly something that NatureScot – the Scottish Nature people responsible for licensing control of the birds and… er… also conserving them – need to sort out. The MPs aren’t happy about their efforts so far:

The behaviour of the SNP’s quango NatureScot confirms they have lost the plot. They have told people to protect themselves with umbrellas and even suggested dogs as a deterrent.

Umbrellas for the birds attacking from above, dogs for the assaults from ground level, I presume.
It really wouldn’t work any other way, right?

The strength of the cross-party support in my debate today should be all the SNP government need to finally act before we see someone killed due to being attacked by a gull.

It’s not clear (to me, at least) how exactly this would occur. Unless the gulls are carrying knives and guns now. And the victim is umbrella and dogless. In which case they were asking for trouble, anyway.

Our seagulls in Cape Town are nowhere near as big or aggressive as these Scottish monsters. Although I would still advise you to take an umbrella down to the Waterfront if you’re headed there this weekend.

It’s going to rain.

And when I say wet…

Posted on

It has been raining a lot. And it is still raining. And there’s more rain in the forecast.

But just how much has it been raining?

This much:

367.8mm in the last few days just down the road from us about an hour ago. And I’m only saying “about an hour ago” because it’s almost certainly more than that now.

The rain has only really been falling for the last 4 days, so we’re looking at almost 100mm a day. And our local ground really isn’t set up for that. Hence all the flooding.

We might have a couple of dry days (T&Cs apply) before the next wave(s) of rain head in.

Right now, I’m going to watch the mud-wrestling rugby from the stadium in town.

We’re coming to the conclusion…

Posted on

Is it just us – and, to be fair, those surrounding us – who are coming to the conclusion that 2025 is actually a bit crap?

Of course, all years have their ups and their downs, but this one does seem to be continually choosing the crappy option each and every time it gets the chance.

I don’t want to go into details, because that wouldn’t do any good anyway, but there have been quite a lot of things that just could have gone much better. And a seemingly equal number that would have been much better if they just hadn’t happened.

Several examples of each have been mentioned on here.

I try hard to be a glass half full kind of guy, but it’s getting more and more difficult to repeatedly try and ignore the apparent vendetta that 2025 clearly has against us.

Even the simplest things seem to have it in for us.

And just when I thought that it might get better in the second half of the year: a fresh start and all that…

WWIII is about to enter the chat.

Thanks, Donald.

Still, other than those issues (which unfortunately is just about everything), we’re just about surviving.

Onward and upward…

Padel – elitist in the UK as well

Posted on

I mentioned here that padel is a bit of an elitist sport in South Africa.

Well, just look:

Apparently it’s also a bit of an elitist sport in the UK, as well.

According to the Lawn Tennis Association (LTA), there are currently around 800 padel courts in Britain, but over 400,000 players.
Research by Ray Algar, an expert on the economics of sport and exercise, shows that the average off-peak court hire in the UK is about £30, but peak time prices can reach £80 at some venues.

Thirty quid isn’t far off what a court costs in SA, and while the cost of living here is much lower (meaning that in real terms, padel is more expensive here than there), eighty pounds (basically R2000) an hour is completely ridiculous.

The rise of the racquet sport – usually played in doubles on an enclosed court where balls can be played off the walls – has been helped by influencers and celebrity players such as Stormzy.

I think that Stormzy was the guy who got a lot of the middle-class, white South Africans into padel as well. It’s a perhaps surprising crossover between tax advisory services and accountancy during the day, and then banging out freestyle rhymes over classic grime beats in the evening while playing shit tennis in a fish tank, but it does happen.

The plan in the UK is to open more courts:

As the organisation that looks after padel in the UK, the LTA has launched a new five-year strategy that aims to work with local authorities to build more courts.

See? And the aim here is getting a more diverse cohort involved in the sport. But this has never really worked with polo, and I can’t see it happening with padel in the near future, either.

There are far better options: You can book a 5-a-side court for less than a padel court here, you can spread the cost ten ways instead of four, and all you need is a R200 football instead of four plastic bats whose costs stretch into five figures.

You might not get the inter-game spreadsheet banter that you crave, but it’s still a decent workout.

It’s fine. Padel won’t be around forever, and then it’s only a matter of time until the next elitist fad comes around. And whatever that might be will eventually be “ruined” by letting “common people” have a go at it as well. So I guess the padelers should enjoy it while they can.