Empty

The last of the pre-written posts for this week (cue sighs of relief from the regular reader), as all being well, I’ll be heading back home today.
And it features this, which makes perfect sense if you think about it, but if you think about it in a different way, could suddenly get quite deep in a philosophical sense.

Is there a more meaningful side to this stenciled statement, or is it just a straightforward and sensible instruction that I’m reading too much into?

I think we all know the answer to that one.

Well, this looks nice

Away this week, as was mentioned here.

But assuming my flight actually lands, I’m not quite sure how much fun the outside bit of the work I’ll be doing up there will be. Why?

Well…

That’s rather warm. I’m especially looking forward to Wednesday, obviously.

On a more serious note, these are shade temperatures. It’ll obviously be warmer in the sun. And there clearly will be sun. I’m wondering how well my equipment (careful now) will cope in this sort of heat. And also its operator, obviously.

Reminder to self: pack sunblock. And air con.

Rate this translation

Heading down to Agulhas today, so here are a couple of Facebook’s translation efforts from the local group down there. Because who could forget Election Rib Frame, and all the hilarity that went with it.

Facebook’s translation software is good, but it’s really not perfect. Especially when it comes to Afrikaans.

“Rate this translation”?
Literally: very good. Actually: Ridiculous.

Or this one:

Anyone get this one? Yes. It’s the cure for moles. Not the ones on the skin around your ass. The small f*&^#*g mammal that digs up your garden.

But Facebook can’t work out the context here, because the Afrikaans word “gat” meaning “hole” is also the slang for “ass”. (Incidentally, the word “slang” is Afrikaans for “snake”, which is probably your best bet for sorting out a mole problem, but still…)

So breaking down the edges of the hole and putting ground (not instant) coffee in there is apparently the way forward. Moles don’t like it. Silly creatures.

Or just scratch your ass open and pour coffee. Whichever you fancy more.

My Sunday

Yes, yes. A few days early or late, but that doesn’t really matter.

If you were about my age in the UK when I was my age in the UK, then you might remember Timmy Mallett and his Wide Awake Club on ITV: a Saturday morning staple. The co-star for some of the series was wildlife expert and now Hout Bay resident Michaela Strachan.

It also featured Mallett’s Mallet: a massive foam hammer.

But that’s beside the point.

Wide Awake Club ran until 1989, and was followed by Wacaday, which ran during the school holidays.

In 1990, Mallett released a cover version of Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini with Bombalurina. It reached number 1 and, together with its Europop vibes, it was the perfect song for him: deliciously wacky and zany and juvenile and just silly.

Quite reasonably, I’d forgotten all about Timmy Mallett until I came across the piece below, published in a UK Sunday supplement.

And it’s amazing.

It’s all massively Monty Pythonesque and wholly fabricated, except, you kind of get the idea that some of it might not be. But, like watching Bob Mortimer on WILTY, you’ve really no idea which bits are made up, which are genuine, and which are “embellished truths”. Whichever they are, they conjure up some wonderful mental images.

Anyway, you’ve likely read enough of my spoutings, so do take a minute or two to properly read Timmy’s.