SARS block 6000 miles… – reinstate access to 2oceansvibe in November net crackdown

Shocking news from a regular 6000 miles… commenter:
In a heinous act of censorship, SARS – those people who very efficiently take our money off us all year and then tell us how great they are because they give us a little bit of our own money back – have blocked access to this website from their premises.

According to our source, each month, SARS “chooses” the 50 top sites “to be investigated” which essentially means “to be blocked” and 6000 miles… has found itself on the November list – probably due to its huge popularity amongst SARS employees. I’m not entirely sure that huge popularity amongst SARS employees is something to crow about, since they are presumably mainly grey tax accountants and over-zealous IT workers who apparently have nothing better to do than block decent Cape Town blogs.

Meanwhile, perhaps demonstrating a lack of huge popularity amongst SARS employees, access to Seth Rotherham’s has been reinstated at the revenue service. Or maybe this just indicates that there is a plan to bring in some sort of Tits & Ass tax in the next budget.

I would urge all SARS employees to access this site via mobile technology as often as possible so that they don’t miss out on the latest news and information, pictures of my kids and amusing stories from around the world.

6000 miles… is, of course, fully enabled for mobile viewing.

UPDATE: Apparently, the thousands of SARS officials surfing 6000 miles…at work was slowing down the whole eFiling process by overloading the servers with quality blog posts. Really.

This is it

I have been waiting for the perfect time to share this little bit of video footage with the 6000 miles… reading public.

And this is it. Because today marks the release of the Michael Jackson documentary and this is my bit of Michael Jackson tribute.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m no fan of MJ and I am more than ready for the whole thing to go away now. Which of course it won’t.
So, if you can’t beat them, join them and show the world your love of Michael. Sham on!

Which brings me to this video. Please allow me to set the scene:
It was filmed in Trafalgar Square, London UK on Sunday 5th July 2009 – 10 days after Michael popped some propofol and shortly thereafter, his clogs. A group of (mainly) middle-aged women had got together and were self-consciously dancing around a CD player which was quietly knocking out MJ hits.
Rarely have I seen a group so uncomfortable in their own skins. This was clearly the first IRL meet-up of an MJ internet forum. No-one knew anyone else and all present seemed to be disappointed with the turnout, the company, the organisation, the venue and the weather.

Until the forum loony turns up. Dressed in white crocs, cream opaque tights under white fishnets, blue polka dot shorts, a dark Union Jack top and a floppy hat, she (at least, I think it was a she) promptly demonstrated how MJ would have done things if he’d been a MJ forum loony.

MJ never did it like this

Note how the others in the group aren’t quite sure how to react. Two of them attempt to turn the loony dance into some sort of  Thriller move. It doesn’t work and they give up and try to ignore the loony.
In the end, it turned into two tributes – one with some middle-aged women shuffling around a cd player and one with a loony prancing all over Trafalgar Square. 

Just how MJ would have wanted it. But with less small children.

Enough babies already!

I saw this letter in The Times earlier this week. It made me laugh.

I am a poor pensioner and taxpayer – I cannot afford to pay for your sexual urges.
The world and South Africa has enough people, please don’t be stupid and selfish and add more at my expense.

More people means more power stations are needed, more schools, more hospitals, more houses, more jobs (from where?), more dams, more roads, more prisons, more police, more global warming and so on, and I am expected to pay for all of this.

Think of me, yourselves, the rest of the world and the child before you make babies.

RL, by email

While RL’s plea may strike a chord with a number of  taxpayers, who (as in most other countries around the world) subsidise those “less fortunate” than themselves, I can’t see his/her message catching on. With 4.3 babies born per second worldwide, another 17.2 (ish) have arrived while you’ve been reading this sentence. Don’t tell RL – that sort of stat would kill him/her.

Of course, if RL was to pop his/her clogs, then it would – by RL’s reckoning, at least – be a good thing for the world. We’d need 0.00000001 less hospitals, 0.00000001 less power stations and dams. Schools would probably be unaffected, but there would be 1 whole house more. Which has got to be a step in the right direction. Unless you’re RL. 

However, if RL were to be cremated, that would add to global warming, so instead, we’d need more space in the local cemetery.  

Hmm. Swings and roundabouts. No – wait – that’s a playground, not a cemetery. But you know what I mean.

The problem with RL’s idea of thinking of him/her before submitting to your sexual urges is that, were one to think about a grumbling pensioner (like thinking of dead kittens or Manto Tshabalala-Msimang (remember her?)) while in the throes of passion, then the sexual urges would probably go away. Rapidly.

But then, maybe that’s RL’s plan.  

Another Pick n Pay Sausage Fail

Who could forget the infamous Pick n Pay experiment of sticking Pap and Wors in one handy sausage unit – the Worst Wors™ ever?

Well, not content with turning your stomach with that, it would now appear that they are putting Oyster Sauce and Rice Wine in their Boeries and have moved away from recommending braai’ing as the cooking method of choice:

“Opstal” translates as “Homestead”. But out on the small-holding, I’m pretty sure Ouma van der Merwe would never have thought of using those sorts of ingredients before stirfrying her traditional sausage.

The BBC Lifestyle channel has a lot to answer for.

Need two

I’m still feeling rough as a nomad’s heel and I have a huge week coming up including several big experiments at work, an important footy match and dinner with the Molton Brown Boys. Mrs 6000 has once again demonstrated her superb management skills in managing me straight back to bed and her and the kids to her mum’s. I am eternally grateful.

Despite being drugged up to the eyeballs (which, significantly, lie above the nasal cavity), I find myself oozing huge amounts of claggy green snot and have used almost an entire rainforest-worth of tissues this morning alone.
I could do with a more physical intervention and the photograph above has given me a great idea. In addition, the contents of the bottles involved might sort out this sore throat.

Or at least stop me caring…