Arse

Finally got a definitive diagnosis on this muscular issue in my… er… behind.

And I will now be following the advice and directions of the physio on how to make it better.

And that’s a good thing, because if you look on the internet, the suggestions surrounding this sort of injury are a little… mmm… “contradictory”:
Exercise“, but also “Don’t exercise.
Make up your minds!
Don’t climb stairs.
But I’ve left it too late to build an escalator up the back of the house.
Don’t build an escalator up the back of your house.
See?
Avoid spending time standing, sitting, or lying.
Well, damn. It looks like hovering is my only option, and I’ve never been very good at that.

Not on earth, anyway. All that pesky gravity, dragging you down.

Weirdly, I haven’t been able to pin down how I did this (i.e. it’s just age), or what aggravates it. A deep tissue massage from the physio yesterday seemed like a good idea at the time – and was probably exactly what was required – but it’s left things a bit unpleasant today. Still, you don’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs, and I definitely want an omelette in my butt.

A metaphorical omelette.

One good thing is that – when the discomfort isn’t too bad – sitting on a static bike and doing 10km up a hill seems to make a big (positive) difference. So I do have a drug-free way of making it better. And I did manage a quick cycle this morning. And it did make it a bit better.

Onwards and upwards. Quite literally, actually, because I’d be lying if I said that I hadn’t been sitting for too long, so it’s time to do some standing.

See you tomorrow.

“This results are rigged.”

Amidst the demands for a re-vote following the bizarre claims from the MK Party that the recent elections were rigged – a move many experts believe is not to actually based in any fact, but more to undermine the authority of the IEC – there was this:

And he offered the following screenshots as proof. One for the Western Cape:

And one for KZN:

I must admit, when I first read his allegations, I was a bit dubious. But the evidence is absolutely there.

How on earth can a bigger number be a smaller percentage? Something dodgy is clearly going on.

Jeez. Tiktok maths.
These people walk among us.
And look the way they voted.

Lap

Busy day. Bit late with a blog post.

Thankfully, someone did this, almost knowing that I needed something handy and quick:

And Ah Jesus. Is this quick…

The first 90 seconds are just normal, and then he checks over his shoulder and…

IT SUDDENLY ALL GOES REALLY MENTAL!!

I know that time is valuable and you can’t always find 19:19 to watch a whole video. But if that’s the case, please flick through to a few random points in the video and just watch for a few seconds.

Totally worth it.

These guys are just next level nuts.

Elections

Next Wednesday sees the National and Provincial elections in South Africa.

July 4th is now the date set for the UK General Election.

None of that will end well.

But between those disasters, it’s the Irish Local Council Elections in… er… Ireland.

This one might go better, because out of all of the candidates that will be standing in all of those elections – only one man seems to have the right idea about delivering a solid, vote-winning policy:

For too long, political parties have happily stood by and watched as crime was legal.
No-one has done anything about it.

Careful now, says Nick Delehanty. Down with this sort of thing.

It’s about time that someone raised their head above the parapet and stood for what’s right.
Nick Delehanty has done that. Make Crime Illegal.

I’m not sure how many votes he got last time around, but with policies like this, on June 7th I can certainly see those numbers Dublin.

I Want The World To Stop

So sings Stuart Braithwaite in Belle & Sebastian’s 2010 hit… er… I Want The World To Stop as he laments the mundanity of modern life, the all too rapid passing of time, and the moments that are now but memories.

I’m not sure whether he means the spinning of the planet or the orbiting of the planet around the sun, but it doesn’t really matter. Either would be absolutely catastrophic.

Let’s be very clear right now: Stopping the world would be a terrible thing to do.

And because of that, whatever your personal reasons for this – even if it is the melancholic and introspective desire to relive fleeting reminiscences – we should probably avoid doing it.

The world only works because it’s moving, both round and round, and round and round the sun.

If you stop the spinning, in a best case scenario in which this is done gradually, one side of the earth would be constantly facing the sun and the other would be constantly… not. Humans, animals, plants, and indeed THE EARTH wasn’t made for this. While the hot side would be extremely uncomfortable until everything eventually died from being too hot, the cold side would likely die more quickly, with no sunlight to keep plants alive and the animals warm. I’m giving us a few weeks or maybe a couple of months at best before we’re all gone. Joy.

Of course, if you instantly stop the world spinning, bad things will happen a lot more quickly. At the poles, you might be fine for a short while, but anywhere else, you’re immediately in a lot of trouble. Stuff at the equator is moving at about 1,670 kilometres per hour (1,037 mph). Bringing that to an abrupt halt would be like a driver putting on the brakes in a car and you getting held back by your seatbelt as your inertia wants you to keep moving forward.
The problem is that everything on earth isn’t wearing a seatbelt and it’s braking from anything up to [checks notes] about 1,670 kilometres per hour (1,037 mph). Basically, everything – including humans (and including Belle & Sebastian) – will be wiped off the face of the planet.

Anything left even vaguely unscathed will then be subject to the constant (but brief) summer or winter situation described above.

And it’s really not much better if we take Stuart’s words to mean the orbit of the earth around the sun.

Again, if we stopped immediately, inertia would come into play again and we’d all be hurled off the face of the planet (or into the face of the planet, depending on which side we happened to be on when the stopping thing happened). We’re doing 108,000kph (67,000 mph) through space, so we’re all moving at about 30km each second. Stop the world immediately (this would take a ridiculous amount of energy, but hey, I’m not the one that wrote the song) and within one second, your body will want to be 30km from where it is now: that could be 30km towards the sky, sideways across the face of the earth, or it could be 30km into the earth. Sadly, you’re only really about 0.0015km above the earth, so the remaining 29.9985km will just be substituted by your body being driven into the now stationary planet at just under 108,000kph.

Ouch.

And if it the world gradually stopped? Well, we’re lucky enough to be treading a very fine line in terms of the livability of our orbit. Even our closest neighbours – Venus and Mars – are far too hot and far too cold respectively to support life. And it’s that distance from the sun and the gentle tug-of-war between our orbit and the gravitational pull of the big yellow thing that keeps us there. Take away the orbit element of that equation and we plunge into a fiery death like one team has left go of the rope.

It would likely take about 8 weeks before we actually hit the surface of the sun – our speed increasing all the time as the gravitational pull got stronger – but happily, we’d all be gone long before then, as we slowly started our approach, falling out of our fragile little habitable zone and being thoroughly cooked on our way down towards certain doom. Lovely.

Look, perhaps I’m taking the lyrics a bit too literally, but wanting the world to stop just seems like a very bad idea. Maybe rather just reflect over some old photos, relive the memories and smile because those moments happened, rather than killing us all in some horrific manner just because you miss some nights out at club 30 years back.