Thanks to my mystery subscriber (or just through sheer good fortune?), I have once again begun receiving pleading emails from Afrikaans “entertainer”, Bok van Blerk (see also here and here).
Today’s missive tells me that “Bookings are now open again”. Presumably, there has been some issue whereby bookings weren’t open and somehow, the situation has improved or been reconciled such that bookings are now open once again.
Great news: let’s get to it! Because even Bok himself looks mildly confused as to why you haven’t booked him yet.
(I actually have a long list of reasons, but let’s save those for another time.)
“Special rates for performances under newest Covid regulations,” it crows, conveniently omitting detailed information as to whether they are special cheaper rates because he needs to sell shows, or special vastly increased rates to make up for the recent dearth of opportunities.
Contact us now!
Indeed, you’d better be quick. Business must be good if they have the time to email random, English, Cape Town bloggers who have unsubscribed from his mailing list 74 times. That sort of action certainly certainly doesn’t smack of any sort of hopeless desperation.
Right. I’m off to unsubscribe yet again. Wish me luck.
I’m no expert, but it appears that the creator of the piece is describing the near immediate bad fortune s/he has upon embarking on a particularly important online computer game, which s/he is unable to pause.
Look, I get it. We’ve all just begun something when something or someone demands our instant attention. It is annoying.
For some reason, they have used four images of birds to represent the potential annoyances they might face in their particular situation.
But that bottom left image, the one depicting “noob teammates”? Well, that’s a Cape Vulture and I know that because I took that photograph.
I took it on 20th October 2013 near Plettenberg Bay – a young male who had lost his family to poisoning or poaching and now resides at Radical Raptors, raising money and awareness so that other young male Cape Vultures don’t have to go through what he has gone through.
I’ve had my images published in a few places: a German football quarterly, a UN Water Ambassador’s presentation about Climate Change, a Cape Town lifestyle magazine, a UK steam engine heritage publication – even in an actual National Geographic book – but this is my first (known) example of one being used in a meme.
Except, this guy got the images from here. I had already been memed!
Who knows – maybe this meme will “take off” (pun intended) and vast sums of money will arrive at my virtual door. Except that obviously, nobody except you and I knows that that bottom corner one is my photo, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t be quietly impressed.
Wandering through that Manx group this morning on Facebook and suddenly was stopped by this:
Technically, this doesn’t count as an RBOSS, because it’s Douglas Bay, not Ramsey Bay. So this is a DBOSS.
It’s not quite on par with the master’s work, but we’re very much heading that way. And it’s worth noting that there’s no suggestion of that “this is just how it came out of the camera/mobile phone” BS. This is merely overdone and unpleasant, not overdone, unpleasant and untruthful.
But I have to ask – what is it about the East Coast of the Isle of Man that brings the Saturation Slider insanity out in people?
My camera doesn’t work the same as Ian Sharples’ camera. My camera produces reasonable, lifelike images, not like the spectacular stuff that “comes straight out of the camera” Chez Sharples.
Stuff like this:
Well, it must be a very special camera. Or a very broken camera. Because sunrises over Ramsey don’t look like this. They often look very nice and very pretty, but they don’t look apocalyptic. I know this because I have friends whose homes overlook Ramsey Bay and who take photos of the sunrises because they look nice and pretty (the sunrises, not necessarily the friends) (shall we park this one right here and move on with the rest of this post?) (yes, we shall).
Their photos don’t look like these ones.
And so we can deduce that the images above are the result of one of three situations:
1. A massive nuclear explosion over England, which lies to the east of the Isle of Man. 2. A massive saturation explosion performed on Ian Sharples’ computer, or 3. A completely unique camera which our protagonist possesses which produces blindingly oversaturated images like these.
The continued existence of England tells us that it’s not number 1. All sense, logic and reason tells us that it’s number 2. But Ian tells us that it’s number 3. So why – apart from the fact that all sense, logic and reason tells us that it’s number 2 – wouldn’t we believe him?
Well, it’s just that he also occasionally takes photos of other things which aren’t blindingly oversaturated. Admittedly, not sunrises, but why would his camera not blindingly oversaturate everything, not just the Ramsey Bay sunrise images he posts for likes on Facebook?
It’s just weird.
My camera doesn’t work the same as Ian Sharples’ camera. My camera produces reasonable, lifelike images. If I want to make images of sunrises or whatever else that look like Ian Sharples’ sunrise images, I have to use software and drag several (or more) of sliders all the way to the right*.
This takes time, so I have created and saved a preset called Half Sharples:
You’ll see that I have a couple of other presets there too: Astro fix, which helps me with images like this one; Project Orange Bright Light fix which assists with photographs taken in and around orchards in the midday Mpumalanga sunshine, and Full Sharples, which I’ve never dared use.
I’m not sure my computer could take it.
There’s simply a limit to the processing power of my laptop. Just as there is a limit to the cerise pixel quotient on my fancy screen. And then there are my eyes. I only have two and they’ve got to last me all my life. Basically, the expense of replacing your motherboard, GPU and monitor, and the medical costs of mending your retinae is simply not worth the risk. Even if you do want a few more likes on social media.
Liverpool 4-1 down at Villa at half time. (Edit: finished 7-2 – ridiculous!)
We lost – again.
We didn’t really deserve to – again.
They should have had a sixth minute red card – but it didn’t happen.
At least we got a goal. We might even have got a point – but it didn’t happen.
Thankfully, it’s international break time now, so there’s no chance of anything happening for a while. I’m going to enjoy the time away from football. My love affair with The Beautiful Game is currently in tatters.