And I have no problem with that. It’s other people who seem to find it difficult to understand.
When someone tells me that they don’t watch football, I just let them get in with their lives without any fuss. Each to their own. None of my damn business how they choose to spend their valuable free time. But wow, tell someone that you don’t like movies and it’s like you’ve just defecated on their granny’s portion of chicken casserole at the family dinner table.
Anyway, I was wandering through Facebook before bed last night and I found this, which describes a tactic I routinely use to prevent the expressions of horror and disgust when I tell people that I don’t do movies (and the granny’s dinner plate thing):
Well, of course there’s no list. You don’t make a list of things that you are never going to do.
And while I’m happy to defend my complete lack of interest at the latest Hollywood nonsense, it’s actually much easier to just pretend that yes, obviously I’m going to do something about getting around to watching Dave McActor in his latest role as Detective Sergeant Steve Platinum, the renegade cop who does things his own way and gets results.
When actually, what I actually going to do is to come home, watch a quiz show or two, write a blog post and have a brandy in front of the football.
These adverts at the bottom of otherwise sensible, grown-up news articles are getting more and more bizarre.
Who Could Blame The Vet? What Can The Police Do About It? And Why Are All The Words Capitalised?
Total teeth! Surprising stairlifts! Look at Bras!
These were on this article about an ISIS-related group allegedly beheading children in Mozambique. Dentistry, transport for the elderly between storeys* and supportive underwear seem horribly insignificant and incongruous.
As in the REM song: It’s Been A Bad Day please don’t take a picture. (This one.)
Yeah. It’s not been a great one today, but then there have been some great ones lately and so it all balances out, I suppose. And there’s been nothing huge that’s gone wrong: merely a succession of minor irritations. A lot of work for very little reward.
No-one died. No-one was even more than mildly injured. It was all just not great. You know the sort of day I’m talking about. We’ve all had them.
I will survive.
But that’s not to say that I wouldn’t mind a few more things going better tomorrow, please.
In that post, I described how – despite much in-depth googling – I just couldn’t seem to locate her medical qualification. I also touched on the nutty theories, “research” and general quackery to which she subscribes, including (but not limited to):
“DNA nutrition”, homeopathy, naturopathy, “Quantum Nano Technology”, “DNA activation”, “water oscillation, frequency and resonance technology”, and “Haemotology and Nutrition for Blood Types”.
Well, yesterday, “Dr” Chabad (de Jaeger) de la Fontaine was back on a beach, and – anxious to maintain and extend her reign as Cape Town’s craziest person of 2021 – ticked off a few more boxes on the thin aluminium millinery list:
Ah yes, the global cabal, anti-semitic, NWO, antichrist agenda.
That old chestnut…
Look, I really don’t want to see or hear any more from this dreadful, dried-out prune of a woman, but at the same time, we’re so very close to filling in our nutzy bingo sheet here, that I find myself almost praying that just she pops up tomorrow in Kommetjie with a screamy 5G, Bill Gates microchips in the vaccine, Reptilian overlord-laden rant just to dot the Is and cross the Ts.
And once she’s done that, she can fuck right off and never darken our collective doorway again, thank you very much.
Yes: THE ENGLISH IS TERRIBLE: a split infinitive, a missing hyphen, a couple of AWOL commas and an embarrassing speling eror.
But that’s not the reason that I’m writing this post. “Dr” Chabad (de Jaeger) de la Fontaine is the reason I’m writing this post.
“Dr” Chabad (de Jaeger) de la Fontaine was the lady who became briefly and locally famous after the Muizenberg beach protests last week. Here she is:
…making claims that she is:
“…a very highly skilled medical doctor, as well as a virologist, immunologist and quantum physicist, working with parasites that they call viruses.”
Look, we’ve all been there, but this is really is no way to publicly describe your colleagues.
Still, it’s an impressive array of qualifications and specialisations, and one that – if you do a bit of background reading on “Dr” Chabad (de Jaeger) de la Fontaine – seems to vary depending on the day of the week and the direction of the breeze.
The flyer above (as you can read) suggests her qualifications and specialties as:
MbCHb, Naturopath, Homeopath, Quantum Physicist, DNA Nutrition, and Permaculture.
Naturopath, Homeopath and Quantum Nano Technology Researcher with “expertise in water, blood, salt, origin of humanity, genetics and DNA”, whose “deep intuition is extra-ordinary.
and she is also the owner of “Aqua Resonance Technology Ltd”, which according to the CIPC, doesn’t exist.
But elsewhere, we learn that she is also “Founding Member (and Human Intelligence Self- Mastery Consultant/Coach/Trainer) @ Changing Lifestyles (Pty) Ltd”, which according to the CIPC, er… also doesn’t exist.
And she’s also been “Executive Assistant to CEO @ AFRO SYNERGY TOURS (Pty) Ltd”, which according to the CIPC… ag… look, you can probably guess.
Still, maybe it’s a quantum physics thing and these enterprises simply exist in a parallel universe, reality or timeline. Or maybe the CIPC has got it nailed and they don’t exist full stop.
We just don’t know.
What we do know is that (according to “Dr” Chabad (de Jaeger) de la Fontaine), “Dr” Chabad (de Jaeger) de la Fontaine can do
I mean, I find it a bit strange that after her weirdly capitalised MbCHb, which must have taken an absolute minimum of six years to achieve, she has never chosen to mention it before anywhere that I can find, but I’m sure that’s just an oversight.
In fact, the highest qualification that I can find on any of her myriad profiles suggests that she has a Masters degree, listed thus:
Master’s Degree, Quantum Physics, Haemotology and Nutrition for Blood Types @ Private Tutor From 1980 to 1988
Three of my four PhDs in apparently randomly contrived subjects also came from Private Tutor, so that all seems legit and completely above board.
Elsewhere on that page, she claims to have spent 16 months as a:
Senior Researcher @ Scientific research on water oscillation, frequency and resonance technology
which seems an awful long time to be doing senior research at scientific research on something that doesn’t exist. Especially when you’re a qualified medical doctor.
In fact, that particular profile (written at the end of 2015) doesn’t actually mention that she is a qualified medical doctor at all, but I’m sure that’s just an oversight. It does tell us that she worked to try and get a new modular furniture system business up and running, and has a diploma in Event Management from Damelin College in 1994 though, which pretty much adds up to about the same thing, I guess.
A minor point: The HPCSA doesn’t list her as a medical doctor either. Odd. But I’m sure that’s just an oversight.
Anyway, tomorrow, as you will see, she’d like us to spend 3½ hours with her beyond the lentil curtain as she demands “TRUTH OVER LIES”, and transparency around the qualifications of those “advising the president of the replublic [sic] of South Africa”.
Yes. I’m all for clarity around the qualifications of these so-called ‘experts’ telling us how we should be living our lives.