Much to the kids’ excitement – and after several months of near breathless anticipation – Grandma & Granddad have arrived in Cape Town. They brought Pot Noodles and mushy peas with them, which is always a bonus.

The neighbours are also delighted to welcome my folks to the Mother City: they’re celebrating their arrival by repeatedly blasting out the theme to The Full Monty – a film set, as many of you will recall, in Sheffield. I’m not actually sure if it’s a party going on or just a drunk woman sitting alone dreaming about stripping steelworkers.

Either way, the 26 hour journey door-to-door has hopefully tired my parents out sufficiently to sleep through the continuing insistence that Errol Brown believes in miracles.

Where you from, you sexy thing?

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